Friday, January 6, 2012

I'm a sucky blogger

I think I was trying to make my blog something amazing and it was so much pressure to have big long funny posts about stuff that I just got all tired and overwhelmed and didn't feel like blogging. So now I have a tumblr, which is just kind of a dump of the things in my brain. Apparently I have a lot of things to dump out right now. Especially about how I want to cuddle with Noel Fielding. Come look!

Sunday, July 31, 2011


Yep, I got married. I could fill thousands of posts full of the details, how much of me I put into this to make it a success, how stressful it was, how wonderful my family and friends are for helping and being there and how quickly something with such a build up went by, but I'll spare you.

There has been radio silence all up in this blog, I know. But I just wanted to share with whoever is out there that still reads. I've been busy with this whole wedding thing, and now I plan to be busy not being busy and just enjoying being married. We're headed to Walla Walla in a couple days to a precious little B&B and we're going to visit wineries, drink loads of wine and eat delicious food. It's going to be crazy hot and I'm going to lounge around in the sun relaxing and enjoying my new husband. I LOVE YOU DAN!!!

I set up a little photo account so that people could upload all their photos, so if you're curious, check them out here:

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

YarnCore? AWESOME!

Check out this crazy awesome blog!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Marc Maron: Part Eleventy Thousand

If you missed it on Twitter or Facebook, I totes got a photo with Marc Maron over the weekend like a huge comedy nerd (groupie?). We sat in the front row, too. The "other Jess" made him scones (that were effing delicious, b-t-dubs) and brought devon cream, while I brought him a basket of all my homemade canning successes. Although I think maybe I just made a big chore for him because he had to ship everything home to himself. Hope it's delicious and that once he tries it he doesn't mind the extra work? Yeah.

He was hilarious and raw, as per usual. Again I say, if you aren't listening to WTF, you're missing out. Plain and simple.

Here is the basket of crap I made him:
I even made little labels, how cute (dorky) am I?
And then here is the best photo taken in a dark club without a flash. The one with the flash makes me look so white I glow, and the other one I posted on Facebook is good, but this one he is smiling and it's cute, so here.

He's wearing his fan-made WTF ring, which you can't really see clearly. He tells a story about how a fan boy recently got his signature tattooed on him, and "does that mean we're married now?" And my answer is no, Marc, but I do think you're engaged to the guy who made you that ring.

P.S. I also met Moshe Kasher last weekend at the same club. He is also effing hilarious and I discovered him from listening to WTF with Marc Maron. So yeah, that was awesome too. I am apparently collecting a photo album of myself with comedians. Who is next? (maybe Greg Behrendt in a couple weeks if I'm up to going all the way out to Kirklandia again).

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Friday, January 14, 2011


FOUR. FOUR FORKS. If you have 100 people, that's $200!


So I went to the Seattle Wedding Show last Saturday with my friends Jess and Lisa. Lisa is getting married next month, and Jess is one of my bridesmaids. Actually I think this weekend we determined that she is my bridespinster, or at least you'd think that from the way bridal vendors treated her. It takes more than a bride to get married, people, treat the party nicely.

Honestly, the whole thing is basically designed for you to sign up on people's mailing lists. "Want to sign up to win this awesome thing? Good, we'll need your name, phone number, address, email, social security number, first born child." So far I luckily haven't received too many emails, but I did receive one phone call. FROM THE DEVIL. Basically, the Wedding-S#*t-Show included samples of A LOT OF CAKE. And I love me some cake, but after about 2 1/2 hours of trying cake I needed real food before I went into a diabetic coma. We walked by a booth that looked like it had samples of real food and because we were desperate, when they asked if we were looking for a caterer we said yes. And honestly, I didn't have a caterer, so it was totally possible, right? They were some sort of tacky all-inclusive caterer - super cheap and kind of "wedding in a box" style (like a bed in a bag?). Anyway, the caterer had some fancy champagne giveaway so we started signing up. Oh, and turns out the food was JUST FOR SHOW. So that was completely pointless. Then this exchange happened.

Caterer lady (with hideous fake nails that I couldn't stop staring at): So, when is the big day?

Me: Oh, July


Me: Oh, you know, it's fine. We're still figuring out what we're going to do and we've got 6 months, we're fine.


Me: ...

My friend Jess: Whoa, calm down, don't freak her out.


Me: ...

Jess: ...

Lisa: ...

Caterer woman I hate: TAKE ALL THIS INFORMATION, YOU NEED US. IT IS SUPER CHEAP AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING (Translation: you don't need to have a personality, we can provide one for you. Mediocre food is fine, as long as you don't have to deal with it) CALL US TOMORROW BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO TIME! NO TIME AT ALL! 6 MONTHS IS LIKE TWO DAYS! YOU SHOULD PANIC!

Me: .... (backing away slowly)


So yeah, that is the most stand out thing from the day. And I received a phone call from them. I have half a mind to call them up and tell them to shove their low rent catering you know where.

Turns out a few good things did come from going, though. I figured out that food trucks aren't overpriced and are a super awesome way to do something cool for food. And it is way easier than potluck, which was starting to cause me to feel slightly insane from trying to figure out all the logistics. So we're going with a street food truck called Maximus/Minimus that serves the most delicious pulled pork sandwiches ever. AND the truck is shaped like a giant pig!

Mmmm, delicious pig.

So, that is fun and exciting. And I also talked to some florists that I really like, hopefully we can still afford it. Although I'm starting to think if I just throw some ball jars on the tables and fill them with market flowers it will still look pretty. I just keep telling myself, it doesn't have to be perfect. I want it to be the opposite of what some of those horrible vendors at the wedding show wanted it to be, I want it to be inexpensive and unique.

Also, I'm back on the wedding planning wagon after a hiatus. The holidays were too distracting, and for a few months I also was under the impression that I still had a year even though the year was dwindling away. Now I'm back to feeling nuts about wedding planning. I made this little mood/inspiration collage that I like to look at every time I feel stressed, though. It has one of the bridesmaids dresses on it, my dress, my headpiece and my beautiful necklace (purchased for me by my wonderful friend Meredith). Oh, and it has the shoes I'm going to wear. If you've been around me lately and heard me talking about wedding shoes, you would have probably heard me say something like "I hate shoes" or "maybe barefoot?", but I realized that the no shoes thing really only would go well with a hippie dress, and I just didn't buy a hippie dress, so I needed shoes. I also don't wear heels. I just don't. I don't care if it is only for an hour, I don't like it and I am no longer purchasing high heeled shoes. That is just the way it is. So I made the decision to buy these cute little custom made brocade flats. Of course, immediately following my purchase I showed someone my collage and said those were the shoes and they were like, "Oh, you mean the reception shoes for when your heels get uncomfortable?" and I was all, no, the shoes I'm going to wear and she was like "But you want to wear heels!" in this way that made it seem like it would be the saddest thing in the world and I'd be making a huge mistake and deep down I really want to wear heels. And for about 10 minutes I sat there thinking, yeah, I should get some heels. I want to wear heels. I need pretty big girl shoes. And then at the end of those 10 minutes I suddenly went WHAT THE HELL? WHY AM I LETTING PEOPLE GET IN THE WAY OF MY VISION? I need to trust my damn instincts and go with what I want.

Same thing happened about the rehearsal dinner. I don't want to have one. It isn't necessary. The dinner/party will be the actual wedding, end of story. But someone told me I needed to have one as a thank you to the wedding party and family and I went around thinking for the rest of the day that I needed to have one. And then I remembered why I didn't want to have one to begin with. I don't need two events, I need one. I only have money for one. We're already providing a big dinner and cake, I think that is enough. I'm not traditional, why should I follow traditions that I don't want to? When did this stop being about Dan and me?

I just have to learn to take what other people say with a grain of salt. Everyone has an opinion - about my wedding, about your parenting, about my diet, about how much television you watch. Judgypants, EVERYONE. I know I'm guilty of it, but I now try to keep the opinions to myself because I know how it can make someone crazy. I mean, I'm already crazy enough without someone laying their anxiety inducing advice all over me. Am I right?

UPDATE! I'm not usually one to call out terrible businesses by name on my blog, but I just read the few reviews on Yelp of the catering company I was referring to above and OMG, they're terrible and I had to share:

Friday, December 31, 2010


I'm sure I'm not the only blogger who wants to reflect on the past year today, but I have a lot to reflect on about 2010. I mean, I turned 30 and I got engaged and that enough is a big enough deal to look back on. I made a major decision about wanting to start a family next year as well. Heavy stuff and 2011 is shaping up to be another really big year.

Other great things that happened this year? I discovered the best podcast ever, WTF with Marc Maron. That was pretty good. I started a new hobby, canning, and am good at it and love doing it. I've rekindled my love of knitting, in fact I've knit two whole hats so far this week!

I've also spent a lot more time blogging and paying attention to what drives traffic here. There's been another lull recently I realize, but I'm trying and my main goal in 2011 is to blog more and to try and be more creative with my life and work. There has got to be a way that my passions can be channeled into something bigger than what they are right now. I would like to take a writing class, just need to figure out what kind of writing class.

I'm inspired by my friends and family who have had children in the past few years and seeing them succeed at parenting makes me feel more confident that Dan and I can, too. It's exciting!

It's been a long year and I'm looking forward to the coming year. Lots of things to look forward to and get excited about, and hopefully I'll share a lot of it here.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Out of Order

To say that my life right now is in utter chaos is grossly overstating the situation, but in my brain that is how I feel. Maybe I'm just down because of "lady time" or because I had quite the epic fall last week and still feel very achy from it. Or perhaps it is because my apartment is the kind of messy that would gross me out anywhere else but my own home. It could be that I'm in the middle of a week of crazy work meetings that make me feel frustrated and desperate for a nap. I just feel cluttered and like chores are building up and rather than doing anything productive I'd rather sit on the couch and zone out completely. And then in the middle of the night the past two nights I have woken up in a panic. That kind of heart racing, butterflies flying panic that makes it completely impossible to lie still let alone sleep. Is there something I have forgotten to do? Probably more like something I'm procrastinating.

I feel like I want to talk it out, tell people how I am feeling and then maybe I'll feel better. But typing this now makes me feel a bit more panicky and I start making a list in my head. The biggest bullet point on that list would be CLEAN THE DAMN APARTMENT. But as easy as that sounds to most of you, we've let it get to that overwhelming point where you think maybe moving or firebombing might be a great next step. So we decide that it is time to invite friends over for a little holiday thing that we did the last two years, and that will motivate us to clean. But I know we'll wait until the last minute to do it, and then I'll also have to be grocery shopping, cooking, going to the liquor store, getting the Christmas tree and decorating it. Meanwhile I have a desk that is towering over with wedding crap that I don't know what to do with for the next 8 months because putting it under the bed will only mean the cats will eat it. And if you think I am joking, you haven't met my cats.

Also, I want to make candy. I want to make peppermint bark and this toffee thing with graham crackers that my grandma makes. Oh, and I got a recipe for cake balls, which are pretty much little truffles but the insides are made out of cake and frosting. But I don't have time. I need more time! Because after work just isn't going to cut it. Maybe I'll stay up all night Friday night making candy, then clean all day on Saturday, then get the tree Sunday morning and decorate it while baking the cookies to decorate in the afternoon. But see, I don't have to make any candy at all, so why should I? Because that is the one thing that I want to do right now. I don't want to do chores, but I want to do something that is kind of like a chore because it is fun even though it is actually exhausting and stressful. I want to do it to relax. What?

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I heart Marc Maron

This blog post is a long time coming and is the main reason I haven't written in a while, because I felt like I needed to give this post justice before I could talk about anything else. But then I realized that a blog post could never quite express all the thoughts and feelings I have about a complete stranger (wow, that sounds effing crazy). So I just built it up so much and couldn't do it. Now I just have to get it down and move on. Jeeze, that sounds nerdy. So this is mostly stream of consciousness.

There were two bad things about my trip to Los Angeles in October.

1) There are pretty much no photos of the wonderful weekend (particularly of Marc Maron in the hat I made him)
2) I drank my weight in sweet tea vodka, red wine and whiskey, resulting some uncomfortable cuddling and a hangover of epic proportions.

Other than that, the weekend was EFFING AWESOME. I went down to LA to visit my friends Adam, Linda and Nathan and to go see a live taping of the WTF Podcast with Marc Maron, my current total obsession. Now, I know Adam through Dan working with him a while back, and mostly Adam and I are friends through social networking sites such as Twitter. True, I had spent time with Adam and Linda while they lived in West Seattle, but not that much and I didn't know them very well. I'd met Nathan before, but I don't think I'd ever even had a full conversation with him. But somehow I became best-twitter-friends with all of them, so even though when I thought about it too much it seemed pretty weird, I went down and crashed on their couch. I shouldn't have thought about it too much, because they were great to stay with and we all got along as though we'd been friends for years.

Now, if you've read this blog before you are aware of my little obsessions. Never in my life have I gotten on a plane to go see one, though. I felt a little crazy the whole time leading up to it, and since I have crazy anxiety, I got all wound up. The night before my flight I went to a wedding event with a friend of mine who is also getting married and ended up having a lot of wine. I came home tipsy, had to finish packing and getting ready and then only ended up being able to sleep for about 3 hours because of my crazy nerves. My anxiety was running wild, and I also had a mean wine hangover. I woke up at like 2:30 AM and never went back to sleep. I just decided to go to the airport early because maybe that was why I was having panic time, that I was nervous about getting to the airport on time on the bus. That helped a little. By the time I actually got to L.A. I was just feeling tired. I honestly think that being so exhausted helped me not be so damn panicked, otherwise I'd have lost my mind that day leading up to getting to the live WTF taping at UCB.

I had a really great day with Adam and Nathan, too. Like I said, I really had nothing to be nervous about with them because they were awesome and we got along great. Oh, and they are completely hilarious. I also got to meet Nathan's sister Katherine who is awesome, and then Linda came home from work and we all went to UCB to see Marc Maron!

Did I mention that I had decided that I needed to bring Marc something? It's pretty common that his fans bring him stuff at shows, often times food items. I sort of find the concept weird since he constantly talks about his food issues on his podcast, so instead I decided to knit him a hat. Everyone needs hand knit hats, right? But I was super busy in the weeks leading up to my trip, so I ended up rushing to finish it about 20 minutes before we left for the theater. I never even got a picture of it, which makes me sad.

Traffic on the way to the theater was awful and I was screaming inside my head, but trying to just laugh it off and be normal around these people I didn't know very well. It's probably lucky that Dan didn't come with me, for some reason since I feel so comfortable around him I can unleash all my wrath on him when I'm freaking out. Poor Dan. But he wasn't there so I kept it in. Luckily we got there in plenty of time even with the soul crushing traffic and we got a fine parking spot.

My only celebrity sightings in LA were while we were standing in line - America Ferrera and Amanda Seyfried. I hate being one of those people impressed by celebrity, but I can't help it, it was pretty cool. But it did manage to make me even more nervous and freaked out. And then Marc Maron walked by and many things happened all at once. My friend Nathan has done artwork for Marc Maron for the podcast (he is very talented) and so he actually knows Maron. We decided before we got there that this was my in for giving Marc the hat, and that Nathan should say hello to get his attention and that was where I would come in. And that was pretty much how it happened. Again, no pictures, which is sort of depressing. I would have been cool to have a picture of Marc in the hat, it fit him perfectly! It was all too fast to get a photo and I didn't want to be a bother. I mean, I really admire the man, but partly because of that I didn't want to hold him up or annoy him too much. So I basically said I flew down from Seattle to see him and I knit him a hat. Even though there are no photos, I can still remember the big smile that spread across his face as he put the hat on. That is part of what is so great about him as a performer/entertainer, he really appreciates his fans and all they do for him and treats them like friends.

I was pretty much shaking from head to toe after that, but it was a huge relief too. So much build up for that small moment, but it was done and I could finally just relax already. Why am I such a spaz? Seriously? The show ended up hilarious,  he had on Charles Fleischer, the voice of Roger Rabbit and a very "out there" comedian. It was definitely a weird experience, but I laughed until I cried and then after I tweeted to Marc that I hoped he liked the hat and I got a response, which as you know from previous blog posts always makes me super happy.

I know, I'm like a 14 year old girl.
It's the little things, you know?

The rest of my trip was great. I got to spend quality time with friends I hadn't seen in a long time, ate food, drank too much, laughed too hard and generally had an awesome time. I wasn't there for long, but I did find out just how much of a home body I am. I was only gone 2 nights and I missed my cats and Dan a ton. Also? I hate flying. Ugh. But it was worth it, not just to see Marc Maron, but to connect with my friends down there.

Here is the part that is going to sound like a big old love letter to Marc Maron, but you know, I just want to convert you all to listen to the podcast and also go see him at Laughs in Kirkland with me in February, or if you are in another state he is touring around, so you should catch him near you.

I of course think that Marc is a hilarious comedian, but the reason why I enjoy him and  his podcasts so much is more than him just being funny. He is a very intelligent and well spoken person who conveys very relate-able emotions through his podcast. I came in late to the podcast, discovering it at Bumbershoot in August because Donald Glover was at the taping and we happened to have some time to kill. But I've gone back and listened to most of them and his podcast is like a revelation. It is amazing to listen to him turning his life around, growing and changing as a person. Starting out as a downtrodden man in the midst of a divorce and a stalled career and using the podcast medium to change things. He is open and honest and raw, and this honesty inspires his guests to open up to him. He has an amazing amount of empathy and that makes the interviews so much more personal feeling than anything I've listened to before. It touches me and others and makes us feel less alone, just having someone to listen to that struggles, but still gets it.

I also really find the subject of comedy and the behind the scenes of it all to be extremely interesting, so that is a big part of it as well. I've been a comedy fan since I was a kid, it was one of the few things that my dad and I really related on in addition to music. I remember watching Cosby specials, Seinfeld's stand-up, The Gary Shandling Show and The Tracy Ullman Show at a pretty young age. It was something we shared that I loved and have continued to love throughout my life.

Marc Maron is known for having a bit of a temper, which I can relate to as I have similar anger issues. But just as the guest at the live taping I went to Brendon Burns said during the podcast "I am losing my warmth" it seems a little bit like Marc is losing his edge. Or maybe his edge was exaggerated. He seems happier, and I don't think he needs to be angry to be funny. His evolution is inspiring.

He is also incredibly accessible to  his fans, responding on twitter to people regularly as if we're just a bunch of his friends. It helps this hopelessly obsessive girl a bit, gives me more of a connection. Something that is super rare. I remember a podcast where he talks about meeting Lou Reed and wanting to have his moment with him and how you can never really have the full connection that you desire from someone you look up to in that way, and he was right. I'm probably not ever going to actually be one of Marc's friends, but I do feel included in a community of his fans, and I feel like he tries as hard as  he can to make his fans feel like friends, and that is enough for me.

I'll probably continue to have crazy anxiety about crap like this, like how I agonized over which of 4 shows to buy tickets to when he comes to do stand up in February, but I used my better judgment and did not actually buy tickets to more than one show because I don't want to seem like a LUNATIC. I promise, other than a crazy case of anxiety, I'm pretty sane. I SWEAR.

If you've made it this far into the ramblings from my brain, you should totally listen to the most recent WTF Podcast that came out on Thanksgiving. Marc says some lovely things about gratitude and touches on a lot of what I've talked about here.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I did, did you?

If you haven't voted, do it. If you have to wait until tomorrow, make sure to make time to do it. JUST DO IT ALREADY, JEEZE!