Oh, Joe

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I just LOVE YOU SO EFFING MUCH.



Originally found HERE on JGL's tumblr.

Nightmare on Dan Street

I'm in your brain, making you scared.

Tall Dan(tm) has what we think may be night terrors. Let me use an article from another website to explain.

"What Are Night Terrors?
Night terrors are known by several names: sleep terrors, night terrors, sleep terror disorder and pavor nocturnus. In all cases, the sleeper has very frightening dream episodes which, in turn, cause the sleeper to experience extreme physical effects for anywhere from five to thirty minutes. The sleeper may twist around in bed or sit up and cry out as a result of their fear, often with their eyes wide open in a stare, even though they remain asleep. 

A person with night terrors may also experience other physical changes which are usually associated with fear such as:

• Rapid breathing – The sleeper can appear to be panting or trying to catch their breath.
• Increased heart rate – The heart can be felt through the chest with a rapid rhythm.
• Sweating – The sleeper might be sweating all over and may appear flushed as if they have been running.

Some people remember that they had a night terror the next morning. They may even remember what was frightening them and that they could not seem to wake up. They may remember vague images of frightening animals such as spiders or snakes or people who were trying to hurt them. On the other hand, most sleepers have no memory of the night terror when they wake up." 

The focus is on the highlighted portion above. But take the sitting up and crying out and add in him violently grabbing me and/or shielding me from whatever the scary thing happens to be. Sometimes he'll even talk to me, saying things that make absolutely no sense. Usually this happens when I am 100% sound asleep, dreaming of cute kittens and Donald Glover. Imagine being ripped from your happy place by someone who is acting like bombs are falling on your bed.

This happened a few nights ago, which also happened to be a night during our most recent heat wave. Our apartment gets very, very hot and I don't handle heat well when trying to sleep. We actually stayed up pretty late that night because it was so hot and we knew that we probably wouldn't get any quality sleep time until it had at least dipped below 80 degrees outside. I may have taken a vicodin and a benadryl to help with the sleeping (Just as an aside, I am not a drug addict, I spend way too much money on clothing to be able to afford a drug habit as well) so when my head finally hit the pillow I drifted to dreamland pretty much immediately. I'd say about 1:30 AM, maybe a little less than an hour after going to sleep, I was jolted awake by Dan violently sitting up, saying something loud and incoherent and putting his arm across me to hold me down. Remember "stopping short" from Seinfeld? Kind of like that, only scary and not at all funny. You may think I should be used to this, after all he has done it many times before. You forget that I was just woken from the sleep of the dead and my drug addled brain couldn't handle such things. So I basically thought it was zombie apocalypse time.

Thinking we were all about to die, I yelled "WHAT?" at him and he just stared at me, not moving, breathing heavily. Again, "WHAT? WHAT IS THE MATTER? WHAT IS HAPPENING?" and nothing, just *blink blink* crazed stare. I think then I shook him and asked him what the hell was going on. As soon as he started becoming aware of what was going on, I proceeded to flip out. I screamed and then went into the bathroom to calm the eff down. This is not a good way to deal with the situation, I realize, but my adrenaline was pumping and I had just prepared myself for zombies, so I wasn't feeling so great. Turns out Dan thought someone was coming in the bedroom to get us (maybe zombies?). At least I know when zombies do actually come in the bedroom to get us, Dan will try to protect me. He's a nice man.

Usually it is a giant spider or something equally scary and gross that is somewhere in the bedroom and about to get on me or him or kill/eat us. After a few minutes he either goes right back to sleep or wakes up and is all, "it seemed so real!" Here is my favorite exchange from one of his episodes:

Dan: OH MY GOD! (shoots straight up from bed and points at the closet)

Me: What is it?!

Dan: Oh my god, he's stuck! (still pointing at the closet)

Me: Who is stuck? (thinking somehow our cat Ron is stuck somewhere, even though the closet is closed and barricaded shut by laundry baskets)

Dan: HE IS STUCK!!! (more panic)

Me: Who, Dan, who is stuck? And where? (more panic)

Dan: Bob, he's stuck in the closet!

Me: Who is Bob?

Dan: A Pokemon.

Me: Um, hey Dan, go back to sleep.

Dan: What? Oh, ok.

PIKA! I'm in your closet! PIKA!

Mid Week

I just realized I didn't post one single thing last week, so I should probably update at least a little bit. Last week my cat Ron got sick and it was expensive, found out some bad news regarding my mom's health, worked my butt off getting ready for a big work meeting this week, forgot to take my antidepressants for too many days and ended the week with drinking too much, causing me to become very ill on Sunday. Good job, Jess.

This week I am in said big work meeting, which means my time when I get home is spent vegetating on the couch/bed trying as hard as I can not to use my brain for much. Also, this weekend I intend to spend time outside and perhaps try and change my skin color from palest pale to possibly tan. Or, more realistically, lobster. I'm going to try and get some knitting in, but I'm not sure blogging will be high on the list. But for you, dear 7 readers I actually have, I promise that next week I will work on something more substantial. Most likely a post all about my newest favorite obsession, writer/actor/comedian/rapper Donald Glover, who my friend Linda (hi Linda!) has christened DGlov. I love DGlov, the person AND the new nickname. Bet you can't wait to hear ALL about it.

Happy Birthday Kate Bush!

Lady Gaga only wishes she were half as weird as Kate Bush... and wishes she had 1/100th of her talent. She has been my favorite since I was a little 5 year old dancing around in our living room and accidentally skipping the record jumping to close to the player. She is unbelievably gorgeous and has the voice of a freaking angel.

And I don't really think I should be comparing Lady Gaga to her because she was more than a pop singer, at least to me. But I do think she did that wacky stuff way better than Gaga ever could. She didn't seem like she was trying to hard, she just seemed like she really was just that eccentric.She's really into that interpretive dance. For me sometimes it is almost embarrassing to watch it is so weird.

But a lot of people these days aren't familiar with her, so since it is her birthday I thought I'd post the videos of some of my favorite songs so you can witness the weirdness and listen to the greatness.






Wuthering Heights was my favorite when I was a kid and I read the book because of it. I was pretty young, though, so I don't remember much and should probably reread?


Cloudbusting! Donald Sutherland! YAY! Funny enough, Organon was the first brand of birth control pills I took when I was a teenager and it always made me think of this song.


Babooshka - I totally didn't understand this song right when I was little. I still kind of don't.


The Kick Inside - I've never seen this before, but I sure do love this beautiful song.


And of course no Kate Bush post would be complete without Running Up That Hill, which I think to this date is her most popular song in the US. Placebo's cover is tops, check that out too.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt aka hitRECordJoe

Those of you who know me might now that I sometimes fixate on certain celebrities. Crushes, if you will. I went through a really wild Alan Rickman phase a few years ago that may or may not have to do with my little Harry Potter addiction. Or perhaps that his portrayal of Colonel Brandon in the film adaptation of Sense and Sensibility was pretty much amazingly sexy? I then had to run out and watch every movie I could get my hands on that he was in. Eventually the obsession faded, but when I watch Love, Actually I still get all twitterpated even though his character is a stupid jerk who should not even THINK about cheating on Emma Thompson with that secretary harlot.

Anyways, you get the general idea.

So I have in the past had this obsession with JGL. I can trace its roots back to 3rd Rock from the Sun, although I wasn't really a huge fan of the show and didn't watch further than some episodes in the first season. I'm just saying I thought he was cute even back then. Because he was. Funny, I just watched a video on his tumblr blog that was from a Rolling Stone interview (that I highly recommend watching) where he mentions in passing that he looked like a girl back then. No, Joe, you looked like a really adorable adolescent boy with pretty hairs. Now, when I think about it at this moment I think it is weird that I thought an early teenage boy was totally cute, but then I realize that he and I are the same age and it really isn't all that strange. My boyfriend at the time had a similar slightly feminine aesthetic and the girls in my high school ate it up. (He was pretty delicious, I must admit.)

That isn't really when my obsession started, though. I mean, I totally liked him in 10 Things I Hate About You, but I wasn't all super swoony (I was over Heath Ledger... dang, now I'm all bummed). No, it was when I saw Mysterious Skin that my obsession began to blossom. That movie is super depressing, and JGL plays a homosexual teenage prostitute. He is 100% fantastic in this film and after watching it I had to watch more. I totally recommend Brick and The Lookout as well. Brick really made me feel all swoony! You know, I never saw Shadowboxer because I don't think he had a huge role in it, but now that I see this photo I think it may be something I have to go back and watch.

OH MY GOODNESS!

So one day while I was bored at my old job I started googling him (boy do I wish that was something dirty) and I found a website he had recently started Hit Record and started reading about it. It isn't like a hit record that sells a million copies, it is like hitting the record button to make a record of something. It is all about art - music, film, photos, paintings, performance, etc. In the beginning there was a lot of his films, music and art creations, or "records" and I was just totally fascinated. He is handsome, talented, smart, interesting, creative. Dude, the guy has it GOING ON. Back then I was totally in a bad relationship and had just lost a crazy amount of weight, so I would just sit and fantasize all day about going to LA to visit friends or something and meeting him at a party and well, stuff. It was dorky and lame, but I loved having an obsession. Not a lot of young, hot Hollywood actors make me feel all fluttery inside because they just don't seem like real people and they aren't that interesting. Here was this man opening himself up for everyone to see. And it felt like a secret because it was pretty low key and wasn't flashy celebrity crap.

But I'm not super hard core like those "Twi-hards" and creepy "Twi-moms", so eventually my extreme affections faded into an appreciation for a talented actor/artist. I've watched his movies, like 500 Days of Summer where all I could think through the whole thing is that Zooey must be a loon for not falling for those dimples, and OH that dance scene, HOW CUTE IS HE? So yeah, I still really like him, but I'm not obsessed with him. Oh, Wait.

Seriously, though, have you seen Inception yet?

Cut to last Sunday, seeing Inception with Fiance and his brother. OH.MY.GOD. Designer suits. Slick hair. Floaty fight scenes. And I suppose I have noticed it before, but did you hear his low voice? Sexy. SEX-EEEE. It was a little like porn, not to mention the fact that there is plenty of other eye candy in that movie and it is also visually stunning and very interesting. So I'm back, guys. I am almost 30 and getting married, and he is almost 30 and all famous, but in my drifting mind he is like, one of my good friends or something, who has a crush on me and is secretly sad that I am getting married. Wait, what? This is my brain folks, for reals. Right after I got home I watched Uncertainty which was really weird, but there is a sex scene and lots of making out and damn, Gina. Just sayin'. I'm all hooked again. And it isn't just his looks, he just seems awesome. I can't quite put my finger on it. Or he's just adorable. I don't know, guys.

It is nice to see that Joe has made Hit Record into his very own production company featuring art from real people all over the place. He even helps them profit from it. I totally renewed my membership to the website today, and while I'm not sure I'm as creative as other people on there, I figure I can bring a knitter voice into the equation. Particularly because lately I've been feeling like doing some more artistic things with my knitting, rather than functional. I've seen some really amazing installation art done with knitting. I'm super interested in that.

Or perhaps I just rejoined to see more videos of JGL like this one from the terms of service agreement.

Ron is NOT amused.

I was all "Hey Ron, check out my new photo booth style photo application!" and he was all "Dude, you're all up in my grill."



MAPYP27A3CW2

iHeart my iPhone

I need to use the camera more, because seriously, it is amazing compared to every other camera phone I've had. Plus it has more megapixels than my old digital camera.


Seriously. Look at this.




These are from the Hipstamatic App, the main reason I wanted an iPhone and not some other fancy smart phone. And I'm happy with it. It makes me appear more creative than I actually am.

So, yes, I know I pay insane amounts of money per month for service, particularly insane from the viewpoint of someone who doesn't use their phone for much other than calls. But I don't even like talking on the phone. I really love all the wacky apps and games and I don't care that you think it is dumb or that the Evo is better. I love my damn iPhone. Yeah, I said it. It may have taken me a few years, but here I am. In love.

I'm going to go make out with my phone now, excuse me.

Fried Chicken with a side of Wedding

There is this salad at the Nordstrom Cafe that is described as a parmesan crusted chicken salad that I really like. But as I was eating it today, I realized what they should really call it is a fried chicken, bacon and egg salad. I mean, that's really all that is in it. Oh, that and some avocado and fatty delicious dressing. I am serious when I say that this salad is good. Really good. BUT IT IS NOT A SALAD. Ok? Oh yes, there are some vegetables, I think a few pieces of tomato, corn and some greens? But just because you put a layer of leaves under something doesn't make it healthy. In fact I think I may have been better off eating a big mac and fries. I think the last bite I ate consisted of hardboiled egg and bacon drenched in fat.

I am not eating well is my point. Not at all. Yet someone yesterday who has been gone from work for a few weeks asked me if I've lost weight. Really? I doubt it. But I haven't gained any that I can tell. I should weigh 300 pounds. The fact that I'm even upset about my weight is comical considering I do absolutely nothing about it 90% of the time.

In other news, I'm getting married. Since I have all of about 5 readers, I'm sure you already know. It's weird, being engaged. I hate calling Dan FIANCE. It doesn't come out right. Boyfriend does. I hope I don't have this same issue with husband. I think husband at least sounds less pretentious. I guess I have a year to get used to fiance. I am and also am not a huge fan of talking about wedding things. Like, on one hand I love talking about the wedding details because I feel so creative and have really enjoyed reading and looking at new ideas and coming up with some interesting things of my own. On the other hand, I totally feel weird because I'm not able to invite everyone I know. So I need to not talk about it because I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but we're having it somewhere already possibly too small, so I can't just keep inviting people. Also, what is up with the advice, people? I mean if you have planned a lot of weddings or your wedding was crazy cool and interesting and you just want to tell me about it, that's cool. But if you just feel like my ideas are dumb and that I should do things differently? Please, oh PLEASE just keep it to yourself. I have it covered. Unless I asked you a question, don't give me your answer. I'm not trying to be bitchy, I just feel like people aren't even suggesting at this point, they are telling me what I should do. I'm not a fan.

I'm also not a huge fan of people acting like I'm ridiculous for planning so early. It's ok with me if you want to wait until the last minute and freak out with everything you have to do right before your event, but that doesn't work for me. I am easily stressed. If I have details worked out way ahead of time, that is just how I roll. I couldn't handle leaving it all to the last minute, my head would explode. Like, literally. BOOM. Poor Dan would be all alone. DO YOU WANT THAT PEOPLE? Well, do you?

Anyway, I just wish people would stop acting like I'm doing something weird or being a freak. I have the ideas, so why not dive right in?

I totally received a few compliments on my blog recently and realized that I always have fully intended to keep it up and then get lazy. Maybe now that I have a wedding to blog about, it can be here where I talk about it rather to friends who may feel slighted. Or maybe I'll be lame and get lazy again. Aren't you excited to find out? Heh.


(Click photo for full size, plus the rest of our ENGAGEMENT photo shoot. I know, right?)

You're right next to me, but I need an airplane

Sometimes I pretend like you never even happened, but today I wanted to say that I thought of you and wondered how you are. I remembered for a minute while listening to China by Tori Amos on the bus. Pretty much sums it up, don't you think?

"Sometimes I think you want me to touch you,
How can I when you build a great wall around you,
In your eyes I saw a future together,
You just look away in the distance."

I was always sick, my life's a hospital.

I caught the end of the episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians that Kourtney gives birth in the other day. I don't watch that show generally, but I think The Soup or something was on right after? No really, I don't watch it!

Anyhoozle, there was this part where Kim was hiding in the bathroom because they wouldn't let more than 2 people in the room during the birth? And all I could think was "let? really?" because you better believe when I give birth I will have WHOEVER I WANT IN THE ROOM. And then I realized, that is why home birth or specialized birthing centers are a better option, and why having a good midwife and birth doula are also important. I get it, the doctor doing the delivery didn't want too much going on in the room, but I feel like if a mother to be wants all of her sisters in the room with her then she should be able to be the one to decide.

Also, breast feeding, people. Why are there still people not doing this? Don't they know it is important in so many ways? And that there are organizations to help you with it if you are having trouble? Don't even get me started.